IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

What are the reasons behind job satisfaction and give your opinion that these are important or not?

#job #satisfaction
There
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been so much arguing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research about how can increase employee's satisfaction
regarding
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their job. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the factors affecting
this
 and give my point of view at the end.
To begin
 with, the relationship of employer-employee is so important for
workres
Correct your spelling
workers
 to
staty
Correct your spelling
stay
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 to their job, in a
way
 that if they both respect each other properly the outcome would be
stisfactory
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
.
For example
, In the survey has been done in 2009 it was indicated that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good relationship between supervisors and
staff
 wes
corrolate
Correct your spelling
correlate
correlated
 with more productivity.
Secondly
, if employers use a variety of
incentive
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
show examples
such
 as financial
assisstanse
Correct your spelling
assistance
,
bounses
Correct your spelling
bonuses
bounces
,
days
Correct word choice
and days
show examples
 off, it would
also
 increase the outcome of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
Furthermore
, Companies who organise gathering ceremonies
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
involving workers'
Correct your spelling
families
famillies
Correct your spelling
families
also
 have been shown that
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 feel a sense of being respected resulting in more productivity and commitment.
Also
Correct your spelling
maintaining
maitaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 a
blance
Correct your spelling
balance
 between work-family is so crucial for employees which can be done by higher
staff
 to show they consider human needs and respect them. For
Correct your spelling
example
examlpe
Correct your spelling
example
 applying a combination of
in-site
Correct your spelling
on-site
show examples
 and remote working can help employees to spend more time with family and work more efficiently.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 reason is that in
this
 world we can't be happy alone,
means
Correct pronoun usage
which means
show examples
 any help, incentives and promotion are a
humanly
Change the adverb
human
show examples
 effort and likely lead to satisfaction would result in more popularity and production.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 my
way
 of thinking these factors are so important employers should take into account because in
this
way
 they show that their
first
 aim is not more profit but
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 consider the needs of their
staff
 too. In
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 CEOs can be sure that the company is going to experience less risk in the form of
staff
 uninvilvment and
un productivity
Correct your spelling
unproductivity
show examples
. To
conlude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, It is so crucial for people running business and company to use various kind of incentives to make their
staff
 satisfy and cooperating which wise bosses know about and implement it.
Submitted by mmohamadis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: