IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepare them to be good parents. In what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
Good parenting plays a vital role in every
children's
Fix the agreement mistake
child's
show examples
 life. I completely agree with the notion that learning institutes provide parenting
courses
 for all
parents
. In my opinion, there are several reasons to take these
courses
 for good parenting.
Firstly
,
parents
 learn how to deal with
children
 in any difficult situations.
Moreover
, they easily know about adolescents' needs and feelings.
Secondly
, fathers and mothers help their
children
 to build up a career.
Furthermore
, juveniles can choose their field according to their interest with their
parents
' help.
Such
 as, Bill
gates
Capitalize word
Gates
show examples
 is a Co-founder of of Microsoft, but her daughter is studying in the medical field. So, he helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
her to
him to
show examples
 continue her
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
according to
 her choice. Adding to it, Bill
gates
Capitalize word
Gates
show examples
 allowed their own phone to her daughter at the age of 14.
Hence
, restrictions are important for
children
's bright future. Apart from
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, good parenting is a modern trend and it is important for
parents
 because these days most families are nuclear.
Children
 have no grandparents or other elder people in the house. So,
this
 course should be mandatory for
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
parents
 to learn about parenting techniques. Another reason is, that the crime level is decreasing because of good parenting.
Children
 spend their time with their
parents
. So, they love their
parents
. Juveniles learn about respect and good relationships.
For example
, Lawrance Bishnoi started his criminal activities at the time of college. He lived in the hostel and his
parents
 did not recognize his bad activities.So, he was involved in a crime and now he was in jail. So, these
courses
 are helpful for
parents
 to improve their parenting ability. In conclusion, I believe that teaching parenting
courses
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mandatory for
parents
 because
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the
children
's behaviour and they
also
 know about good and bad things in their life. They can easily judge them
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single central idea and logically flows from one to the other, maintaining a structured argument throughout.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and a relevant conclusion that ties back to the main argument.
task achievement
The task is addressed with clear points on the importance of parenting courses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: