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Band 4

Young people do unpaid work such as teaching and buliding houses. What are the reasons. And discuss who get more benefits youth or society.

#people #work #houses #youth #society
who does not want to live in a harmonious society? In poor nations unpaid work
such
 as teaching
people
 ,
building
Correct word choice
and building
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 houses is done by persons who actually belong to wealthy countries.
In order
Change preposition
Order
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 to feel satisfaction and improve the standard of living are the two causes that are held responsible;
however
 community get more benefits - improvement in infrastructure and literacy rate. Undoubtedly, the predominant cause is children feel satisfaction by helping
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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others. By doing
this
 , they can find inner peace and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of humanity which are Important for being q good member of
a
Remove the article
apply
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society.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 had the individuals of America not helped the Pakistan citizens, they would not be able to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good samaritan persons.
Consequently
, the confidence level is likely to incline.
Besides
this
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children want to improve the standard of living of other countries.
This
 is because they love to
Correct your spelling
experience
experiene
Correct your spelling
experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality around the world. By providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help, without getting money, to impoverished
people
, they can raise their living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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.
For example
, when teenagers provide any knowledge regarding how to use the internet
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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and technological gadgets to the
people
 from Unwealthy nations ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can gain knowledge and get employment to earn their livelihood.
Consequently
, they can strengthen
the
Change the word
their
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 relationship with others.
However
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 get more advantages
as
Correct word choice
apply
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compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to young volunteers.
This
 is because their standard of living has improved and needy
people
 are able to live in buildings .Apart from
this
 , The result could be seen in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 which
are
Change the verb form
is
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ctually
Correct your spelling
actually
 diminishing.
This
 is possible because youth provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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help to them
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 To conclude, providing unpaid help to impoverished
people
 is gaining ground in many countries .
The satisfaction
Correct article usage
Satisfaction
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 and living standard are the main causes of doing volunteer work Society get more advantages as their country is going to be developed.
Submitted by manjeetmehra2161 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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