IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most large companies nowadays operate multi-nationally. To what extent multinational companies have responsibility towards local communities in which they operate

Overseas corporations’ obligation towards the area where they are based has been a topic of concern in
this
Linking Words
 day and age.
Although
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 I agree that these businesses should bear responsibility for helping local communities, it ought to depend on the will of the firms. On the one hand, I hold the belief that foreign corporations are under no obligation to aid local people. As a matter of fact, the appearance of these multinational enterprises already enhances employment in the neighbourhood.
For instance
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, when Samsung established new showrooms and retail stores in Hanoi, many job seekers were employed, which decreased the unemployment rate and improved living standards.
Furthermore
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, international companies must pay taxes, which contribute tremendously to the local
areas
Punctuation problem
areas,
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 as
this
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 amount of money will be spent on social benefits
such
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 as educational services and medical care.
Therefore
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, it is unreasonable for those organisations to take any
further
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 obligation for providing support to local communities where they base their offices.
On the other hand
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, businesses can substantially benefit from being socially responsible by actively protecting the habitats that ensure their sustainable long-term growth.
For example
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, the
Coca-cola
Use the right word
Coca-Cola
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 corporation had many campaigns to improve
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
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;
thus
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, they
receive
Wrong verb form
received
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 support from local people and the government.
Moreover
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, foreign companies should be very conscious of their track record
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 when it comes to local
communities
Punctuation problem
communities,
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 as these are directly tied to their brand names.
As a result
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, if the company has steps to dispose of
waste
Punctuation problem
waste,
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then
Linking Words
 the citizens enjoy their product without concerns about the environment. In conclusion,
although
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 the operation of large enterprises from wealthy nations in less developed countries naturally sparks several positive changes, I think they should be responsible for the local issues.

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task response
Be clear about your main view from the start and keep the point steady.
task response
Grow each idea with a simple reason and a clear example.
coherence
Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and end with a link to the next idea.
grammar
Keep verb forms the same and fix long phrases that slow the read.
lexical resource
Use short, common words and simple links to show how ideas fit.
task response
Finish with a strong conclusion that fits your view.
coherence
Make sure all ideas tie to the task and do not drift.
structure
The essay has an intro that shows the topic.
coherence
Two sides are shown with on the one hand and on the other hand.
content
Examples from real firms add weight.
task response
The ending states a view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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