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Band 5

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
Nowadays,
people
 often care about others' social status and wealth than about being a
trustworth
Correct your spelling
trustworthy
, peaceful, and friendly
person
.
Nevertheless
, I do not agree that these old-fashioned values are not important anymore,
however
, they are not the most important
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
least. The importance of social status and material possessions seldom remains unjudged because relations with the better
people
 are mostly needed for
people
. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 could give more than others,
then
people
 would be more interested in interaction and measure of his or her personality.
For example
, a
person
 who could be a better partner in a business due to financial abilities would be preferable
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
person
 without them.
Therefore
,
people
 judge others mostly by their potential benefits in constructing
relationships
.
On the other hand
, to construct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robust
relationships
, there are required old-fashioned values
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 honour and trust. To build the partnership, members should be able not only to trust each other
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but
also
 to understand the value of being not honourable. Unless one of
members
Add an article
the members
show examples
 failed the vows of being open and
trustworth
Correct your spelling
trustworthy
, everyone would have a good reputation and
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 range of abilities and opportunities to construct new
relationships
 with other honour partners.
Thus
, old-fashioned values are important too
,
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apply
show examples
 but
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 valued on
stage
Add an article
the stage
show examples
 of building
relationships
. To conclude,
tendency
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the tendency
show examples
of
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to
show examples
evaluation
Replace the word
evaluate
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
person
 according to social status and financial abilities is dominant due to
requirement
Correct article usage
the requirement
show examples
 of constructing
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
relationships
, thereby shifting
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of honour and trust to the stage of building strong and robust bonds with other
people
.
Submitted by 2023gerasimov.la on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
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