Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activitiesDoes this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clerks
Add an article
the clerks
show examples
are
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
to sacrifice their spare
time
for working beyond the clock that has been scheduled.
This
usually leads
certain
Change preposition
to certain
show examples
drawbacks regarding their welfare, both physically and mentally; they might
also
lose
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of opportunities in their life. It seems that the flaws prevail
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
benefits which
this
notion would be discussed in detail
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
essay.
Employer
Add an article
The employer
An employer
show examples
is simply a human who has a limitation, especially their durability to stand. an overload-working person who
compel
Change the verb form
compels
show examples
Correct your spelling
herself
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
to go beyond their capability usually
face
Change the verb form
faces
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
certain illnesses and
Correct your spelling
psychological
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
disorders. To illustrate, people who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
8 hours a day of five-sevenths a week find
Correct your spelling
herself
their self
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
such
muscular-diseases
Correct your spelling
muscular diseases
show examples
and find it so tough to manage their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
during the working days. They, eventually, claim that they
were struggle
Change the verb form
were struggling
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
perform
peform
Correct your spelling
perform
healthily and conveniently. Due to frequently skipping their free
time
, the workers would lose their
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
to gather around with their relatives.
This
makes them meet with
such
disatifaction
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
satisfaction
entire their life. The majority of retired employers are unlikely to indulge their life.
Additionally
,
trauma
Add an article
the trauma
show examples
of losing
time
Correct your spelling
occasionally
ocassionally
Correct your spelling
occasionally
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
in the retirement days
as a result
of skipping
family's
Change noun form
family
show examples
moments.
Hence
, they
finally
feel lonely. To conclude, most of the company officers who take extra jobs as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
subtitude
Correct your spelling
substitute
of their spare
time
commonly deal with certain
ilness
Correct your spelling
illness
illnesses
and feel isolated at the end of their career. If
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
people let
this
case
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
happend
Correct your spelling
happen
, I believe that
one day
Add a hyphen
one-day
show examples
numerous people would not feel contented.
Submitted by writingtest7777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: