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Band 5

It is quite right that top sports people should be paid a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#right #sports #people #money
Unless presently protection of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and fauna is a worldwide trend, there are different points of view about using of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 in scientific experiments. Some people mind, that it is unacceptable to involve them in
experimentations
Replace the word
experiments
show examples
.
This
 essay would argue, why it is sometimes justified, and show possibilities to avoid
this
 critical and dangerous process.
First
 of all,
for example
, in the medical industry, it goes without saying that in some cases it is necessary to test pharma on somebody to understand all
effects
Correct pronoun usage
its effects
show examples
 of it. In
this
 situation, there are only two opportunities to choose: people or
animals
. What would you prefer? Unless it isn't a good way to use
animals
 for human aims, it is worse to make experiments on real persons.
Also
, it could not be forgotten that absolutely without testing of new products it isn't possible to provide them to somebody, whose life depends on it.
However
,
this
 unacceptable human behaviour will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
soon no more the case, because of innovative technologies in IT-area. The global dream to come to "Metaversum" become true in a couple of months. New computing technologies will allow us to simulate everything we want so that allexpirements will be done virtually, whereas all test results will be as true as in the real life.
This
 technology called Digital Twin is a straightforward way to reduce or completely exclude experiments with
animals
 in all areas of science. In conclusion, it is clear that it isn't possible to avoid using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
 currently, because it will impact harmfully on a multitude of human lives, but at the same time, in the future,
this
 problem seems to be resolved.
Submitted by enough.raven on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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