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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attentions to problems. Others think that celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #support #aid #organizations #attentions #celebrities
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There is an
empression
Correct your spelling
impression
expression
 of someone's opinion about that well-known
people
Use synonyms
 should be back up for the international aid
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organisation
organasasion
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organisation
 and make
people
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 worldwide pay more
attetion
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attention
 to some certain problems. I think the famous can stay away from
the
Remove the article
apply
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those kind of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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.
For
Change the preposition
In
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 my opinion,
first
Linking Words
 of all, I think if the reason why someone
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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pay a lot of attention to the international aid
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organisations
organizations
organisasions
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organisations
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 be
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attracted
extracted
actracted
Correct your spelling
attracted
 by the famous, maybe those
people
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 really care about the things that matter.
For
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example
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,example
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 the thing that I have already seen in my motherland is total
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unbelievable
unbelieveable
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unbelievable
 and unreasonable, and the thing is one of the famous
call
Change to a plural noun
calls
show examples
 his fans to help the children who are living in
remote
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a remote
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 and poor
area
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areas
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(especially
some
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someplace
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place
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places
show examples
 like Africa), but the action that he takes which
is only came
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is only coming
show examples
 to that place for half a day,
then
Linking Words
 he comes back, he cannot do it by himself.
Moreover
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,
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plenty
pleanty
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plenty
 of the star
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose to be back up of some particular organisations, It is not because they have a kind heart or something.
For example
Linking Words
, the true reason for
they
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them
show examples
 to do so is the organisations will always pay them to invite them to assistant
thier
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their
 job.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the
participating
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participation
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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well-known
people
Use synonyms
 in the
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organisation
organization
organasasion
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organisation
, maybe it will let more
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay more
Correct your spelling
attention
attntion
Correct your spelling
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a thing.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I think it does not make any sense. And,
for example
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, if a famous only have a motivation which is to gain his reputation or property to support the organisations, I think it would backfire after all. Because if a man can do it well by himself,
then
Linking Words
 he will just make himself and even that
organisasion
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organisation
 a
nouch
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touch
 of
ridiclous
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ridiculous
 crowns, that will never be helpful to
intrnational
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international
 aids itself at all. To sum up, I think because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of those famous have not proven that they have good enough to do kind of these things,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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the one and
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
 way for them
supporting
Change the verb form
to support
show examples
 the international organisation is to leave them alone.
Submitted by 2207433166 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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