Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The world is full of offence and it can be
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committed

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commited
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committed

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by both
adults
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and youth. There is not only
the
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a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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divergence between years
,
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apply

The comma before the conjunction but appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
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the difference
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Add an article
the difference

The noun phrase difference seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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difference
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differences
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among
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in

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the level of
the
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apply

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justice. In major of
the
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apply

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situations
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,situations

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In major of the situations. Consider adding a comma.

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punishments
are vary
Change the verb form
vary

It appears that the form of the verb vary does not work with are in this sentence.

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.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are two opinions about
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

system. One says that it is fair, others
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believe
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believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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belive
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believe
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on
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the opposite view. I am really convinced that legislation ought not to treat them in the same way.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, youngsters are not too
conspicious
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conspicuous

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to make
rationals
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rational

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of rationals. Consider changing it to singular.

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decisions.
In
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On

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the
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apply

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most
of
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apply

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the
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apply

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occasions, decisions are wrong and they need adult's advice
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because youths do not have
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

experiences.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, that's why in the major part of the world countries established that 18 plus age individuals are
adults
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
A plenty
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Plenty

The indefinite article, A, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun plenty in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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of studies proved that exactly
in
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at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the age of 18,
person
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a person
the person

The noun phrase person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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finds himself and becomes more rational. They tend to be more mature
with
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as

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the
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they

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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fully
realizing
Wrong verb form
realise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb realizing. Consider changing it.

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their
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their

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thier
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their
actions and
its
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their

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consequences. To
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illustrate
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illustrate

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illustate
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illustrate
,
young
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a young
the young

The noun phrase young individual seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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get into
the
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apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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crime because of immatureness,
likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if a child stole a toy from a stranger. He does not understand why it is prohibited. I think
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma between the verb and object in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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retributions must be mitigated.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, young people are
on
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the stage called transitional age. Where there
are
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is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject emotional and phychological instability. Consider changing the verb form.

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emotional and
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psychological
Correct your spelling
psychological

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phychological
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psychological
instability, to clarify, we can not assume that they have fully formed their personality and
the
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apply

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strong opinions about whatever as opposed to adult people. They are still
changable
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changeable

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. Due to these characteristics, they tend to join
to
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apply

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the
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a

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variety of social groups, even though
that
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apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they might be wrong and illegal. It is obvious that managing youth is much
more
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apply

The double comparative more easier may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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easier, unlike
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, I want to say that youngsters are not enough rational and mature to make sensible decisions,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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what group they should join, because of
instability
Correct article usage
the instability

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of their personality, From my point of view, there should be differences in terms of attitude towards
adults
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and young people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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