Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world is full of offence and it can be
Correct your spelling
committed
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
by both
adults
and youth. There is not only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
divergence between years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
Add an article
the difference
show examples
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
justice. In major of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situations
Add a comma
,situations
show examples
punishments
are vary
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
.
However
, there are two opinions about
this
system. One says that it is fair, others
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the opposite view. I am really convinced that legislation ought not to treat them in the same way.
Firstly
, youngsters are not too
conspicious
Correct your spelling
conspicuous
to make
rationals
Change the noun form
rational
show examples
decisions.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
occasions, decisions are wrong and they need adult's advice
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because youths do not have
such
experiences.
Hence
, that's why in the major part of the world countries established that 18 plus age individuals are
adults
.
A plenty
Remove the article
Plenty
show examples
of studies proved that exactly
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the age of 18,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
finds himself and becomes more rational. They tend to be more mature
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
fully
realizing
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
actions and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
consequences. To
Correct your spelling
illustrate
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
,
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
get into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime because of immatureness,
likewise
, if a child stole a toy from a stranger. He does not understand why it is prohibited. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
retributions must be mitigated.
Secondly
, young people are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the stage called transitional age. Where there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
emotional and
Correct your spelling
psychological
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
instability, to clarify, we can not assume that they have fully formed their personality and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong opinions about whatever as opposed to adult people. They are still
changable
Correct your spelling
changeable
. Due to these characteristics, they tend to join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
variety of social groups, even though
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they might be wrong and illegal. It is obvious that managing youth is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier, unlike
adults
. In conclusion, I want to say that youngsters are not enough rational and mature to make sensible decisions,
such
as
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what group they should join, because of
instability
Correct article usage
the instability
show examples
of their personality, From my point of view, there should be differences in terms of attitude towards
adults
and young people.
Submitted by Mezun 2023 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: