IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #museums #town #halls
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The world is full of offence and it can be
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committed
commited
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committed
 by both
adults
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 and youth. There is not only
the
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a
show examples
 divergence between years
,
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apply
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 but
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the difference
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difference
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differences
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among
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in
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 the level of
the
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apply
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justice. In major of
the
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apply
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situations
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,situations
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 punishments
are vary
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vary
show examples
.
However
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, there are two opinions about
this
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 system. One says that it is fair, others
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believe
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belive
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believe
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on
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in
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 the opposite view. I am really convinced that legislation ought not to treat them in the same way.
Firstly
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, youngsters are not too
conspicious
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conspicuous
 to make
rationals
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rational
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 decisions.
In
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On
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the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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occasions, decisions are wrong and they need adult's advice
,
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apply
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 because youths do not have
such
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 experiences.
Hence
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, that's why in the major part of the world countries established that 18 plus age individuals are
adults
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.
A plenty
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Plenty
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 of studies proved that exactly
in
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at
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 the age of 18,
person
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a person
the person
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 finds himself and becomes more rational. They tend to be more mature
with
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as
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the
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they
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 fully
realizing
Wrong verb form
realise
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their
thier
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their
 actions and
its
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their
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 consequences. To
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illustrate
illustate
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illustrate
,
young
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a young
the young
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individual
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individuals
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 get into
the
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apply
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crime because of immatureness,
likewise
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, if a child stole a toy from a stranger. He does not understand why it is prohibited. I think
,
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apply
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 retributions must be mitigated.
Secondly
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, young people are
on
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in
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 the stage called transitional age. Where there
are
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is
show examples
 emotional and
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psychological
phychological
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psychological
 instability, to clarify, we can not assume that they have fully formed their personality and
the
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apply
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strong opinions about whatever as opposed to adult people. They are still
changable
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changeable
. Due to these characteristics, they tend to join
to
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apply
show examples
the
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a
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 variety of social groups, even though
that
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apply
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they might be wrong and illegal. It is obvious that managing youth is much
more
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apply
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easier, unlike
adults
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. In conclusion, I want to say that youngsters are not enough rational and mature to make sensible decisions,
such
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 as
to
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apply
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what group they should join, because of
instability
Correct article usage
the instability
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 of their personality, From my point of view, there should be differences in terms of attitude towards
adults
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 and young people.
Submitted by Mezun 2023 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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