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Some people believe that children should be free to choose their own career while others believes more realistically discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #children #career
Undoutedly
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
, every individual has a right to choose their own
career
 nowadays some strata of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters should be free to choose
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own
career
 but
other thing
Change the wording
another thing
other things
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 that they should
be choose
Change the verb form
be chosen
be choosing
show examples
 more realistically .I will be discussing both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools of thought in the subsequent paragraphs prior to the meaningful conclusion along with my opinion. on the one hand, if the children choose their own
career
 they find difficulty in the future .
firstly
, the mature youngsters
has
Change the verb form
have
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ability
Change the article
the ability
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 to choose their
career
 and they should choose by their own wish .
secondly
, they will not worry about their coming future ,so in
this
way
Add a comma
,way
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 they do not blame to the anyone else .
moreover
 ,the youngster has full fill their passion without any difficulty .
thus
, they can acquire the handsome salaries and enjoy their life by their own rules.
On the other hand
 the individual
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
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 their
career
 by
other choice
Change the wording
another choice
other choices
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 so, he or she
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not focus on their work. the youngster should be pressurized by their parents are the relatives .
furthermore
, they cannot do better in
the
Remove the article
apply
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another work at
last
 but not the least they do not enjoy their life by there own choice To conclude ,in my opinion, and undoubtedly ,the former view holds more water than
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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 view the children should be free to choose their own
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 by their own choice.
Submitted by jaahandeep200018 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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