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Band 3.5

Some people think that all teengaers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help local community.They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teengaers #work #time #community #teenager #society
Many young
people
work
 on a volunteer basis,and
this
 can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not agree that we should
therefore
 force all teenagers to do unpaid
work
. Most young
people
 are already under enough pressure with their studies,without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time.School is just as demanding as a full-time job and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day.When young
people
 do have some free time,we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports or other leisure activities.They have many years of
work
 ahead of them when they finish their studies. At the same time,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young
people
 to do unpaid
work
.In fact,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of
people
 to do something against their will.Doing
this
 can only lead to resentment amongst young
people
,who would feel that they were being used,and parents,who would not want to be told how to raise their children.Currently,nobody is forced to volunteer,and
this
 is surely the best system. In conclusion,teenagers may choose to
work
 for free
Correct your spelling
and
amd
Correct your spelling
and
 help others,but in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 we should not make
this
 compulsory.
Submitted by asalmustafoeva on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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