IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

#parents #children #toys #child
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In
this
Linking Words
 generation,
Mother
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Mothers
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 and
father
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fathers
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 are buying a tremendous amount of playthings for their offspring which are good for their cognitive development,
Hence
Linking Words
, there is a disadvantage to
this
Linking Words
 as well, which
i
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I
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 will be discussing in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Nowadays, Some parents believe that buying a larger number of
toys
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 for
kids
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 is beneficial, it develops
them
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their
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 cognitive ability and creativity.
For example
Linking Words
,
scrambles
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scrambled
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 words are known for knowing more vocabulary words and there are some puzzle solving which can enhance the memory of one another. Back in the
,
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apply
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 days children were careful in selecting the
toys
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 they want to purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, as they know that it cost money to buy one. Some
kids
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 know the value of money before they purchase
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
toys
a toy
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toys
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. In order hand, having a tremendous amount of playthings is
also
Linking Words
 not a good thing. As the offspring end up being
introvert
Wrong verb form
introverted
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, they will lack
of
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apply
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socializing with other
kids
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 and even end up playing with their
toys
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instead
Linking Words
 of joining other
kids
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 for a fun, In conclusion, it is a good thing to buy
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
toys
a toy
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toys
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 but there should be a limit
of
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on
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 the time to use them. The parents should know how to balance their social life as well.
Submitted by ramimus12 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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