IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An opinion
that is
 often expressed by politicians and observers, and is gaining popularity, states that big enterprises should move their factories or
offices
 out of big cities and suburbs.
Although
this
 could bring certain improvements,
such
 as relief for urban infrastructure, new logistical problems may be introduced as well. I personally think that not in all cases advantages prevail and sometimes it is not
such
 a good idea. Big warehouses are a typical example where a relatively remote location is worth it. They not only take a lot of space
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 require dedicated road infrastructure to load and unload cargo. When a storage facility is built outside of a city, less valuable land is used for it, than when it resides in a more central location. Because of these advantages, even existing warehouses and distribution centres should be moved out of urban areas.
On the contrary
,
such
 relocations make less sense for some other types of businesses.
For instance
,
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
 companies in the whole world – tech giants like Google or Microsoft – would not win from placing their
offices
 away from cities, and neither would the population in general. The majority of their employees would prefer to continue living in those cities, and
therefore
 reaching the
offices
 would require them to drive long distances daily, simply wasting their valuable time.
Furthermore
, hundreds and thousands of additional cars on highways would result in enormous levels of air pollution. Because of these reasons, moving
offices
 with lots of employees out of densely populated areas is rather harmful. In conclusion, the best choice for the location of an office or a facility of a large company depends on the specific case. There are advantages in regional areas because of
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 availability of land and infrastructure, which is important for some businesses, but remoteness is a major drawback for
offices
 with a lot of city inhabitants as employees. I would recommend both businesses and officials to make
such
 decisions after weighing all factors.
Submitted by chugreevd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: