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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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At the present time, teenagers are motivated to work or have a trip for a year between graduating from high school and going to a university in several countries. Some benefits and drawbacks are explained and illustrated with examples in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, a convincing argument can be made that youth may acquire essential experience, which may help them to decide in what field they desire to study or work.
For instance
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, allenvisionnic.com claim that almost nine out of ten of workers regret their rushing career choice.
Moreover
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, by travelling over the world, students can become open-minded since they will explore new places and other cultural diversity.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous disadvantages to
this
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 idea. Most important, working may discourage getting higher education. It is due to the fact that students might be tempted by the income that they earn.
Furthermore
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, the other drawback that cannot be overlooked is that young people will be left behind by their peers. The evidence suggests that their peers will have a job, while students, who get a gap year, will study at the university, feeling inferior.
Hence
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,
although
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 the idea of having a gap year is filled with some benefits, they cannot avoid drawbacks as well.
Submitted by Yerkezhan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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