IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are majorly focused on their health. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that many manufactured food and drink
products
Use synonyms
 contain a high amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
, and for that reason,
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from many health problems the
government
Use synonyms
 should
increase
Use synonyms
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of the
items
Use synonyms
 which contain high amounts of
sugar
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I think that organisations should research more on their
products
Use synonyms
 and manufacture
products
Use synonyms
 that contain less
sugar
Use synonyms
. I will explain my reasons for it in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if sugary
products
Use synonyms
 will be expensive
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will eventually consume less sugary
items
Use synonyms
 on daily basis. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the manufacturer does not properly mention the amount of carbohydrate that they mix in a particular item and for that reason, individuals are consuming more and more sugary
items
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, "Mazza juice" contains a high amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
, if
people
Use synonyms
 will drink it on daily basis
then
Linking Words
 they will suffer from many diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and diabetes. If the
government
Use synonyms
 will
increase
Use synonyms
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of sugary
items
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will definitely consume fewer sugary
products
Use synonyms
 for their uses.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the authorities will
increase
Use synonyms
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of the high amounts of
sugar
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will definitely move to other choices and choose a healthy diet, which will be beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
's health and the
government
Use synonyms
 can save more on healthcare in the long run.
Also
Linking Words
, manufacturing companies should research more on their food and drinks, and produce less sugary
items
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, "coca-cola zero" has no
sugar
Use synonyms
 and helps individuals to enjoy their drink with no
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will not raise violence against the
government
Use synonyms
 to
increase
Use synonyms
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
products
Use synonyms
 if companies produce
items
Use synonyms
 that contain less
sugar
Use synonyms
. To conclude, due to the
increase
Use synonyms
 in MRP
people
Use synonyms
 will eventually buy less sugary
products
Use synonyms
 and choose a healthy diet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by produce less sugary
items
Use synonyms
 helps individuals prevent diseases like diabetes and obesity.
Submitted by thespoof318 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: