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Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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Today, with more and more advances including farmer's skills, the help of technology in
agriculture
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 plays a crucial role in providing
food
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 for
people
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 around the world.
However
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,
people
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 still suffer from
hunger
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, as we shall see.
To begin
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 with, there are undeveloped
countries
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 that still cultivate plants and raise cattle, and poultry in conventional ways without innovative technology.
This
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 is because of the lack of budget for investing in advanced machines for
agriculture
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 and outdated farming methods.
Therefore
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,
people
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 in these
countries
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 lack basic
food
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 on an international scale.
In addition
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, in
almost
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most
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countries
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such
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 as developed and developing
countries
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, both
them
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of them
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 are running and focus a lot on industry and service since it increases the economy dramatically than
agriculture
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.
Finally
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, only some Asian and African
countries
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 see
agriculture
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 as the main source of income so it is easy to understand why
hunger
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 in the world is a big problem.
Furthermore
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, governments should experiment with solutions to decrease international problems. To be more precise, one of the reasons for
people
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 going hungry is because of overpopulation and high unemployment rates in the country. Generally, governments need to raise
people
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's awareness about family planning and create opportunities as much as possible for unemployed and homeless
people
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 to
do
Verb problem
make
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 a living and avoid
hunger
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 in the country. In short, it is true that
food
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 is the basic to help
people
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 live on
this
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 earth and it needs to provide
to
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for
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 everyone. With the efforts of society and governments about
hunger
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, we need to be aware of the importance and value of
food
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 to help us survive in
this
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 world.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak; the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The response to the essay question is somewhat complete but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples are somewhat relevant.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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