Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

Reading a

book

is essential for

children

to increase their several abilities.

Although

some people think that watching

or playing computer

games

are

also

significant for

children

, I disagree with

this

statement.

To begin

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading a

story

from

books

is more beneficial than watching

and playing video

games

because reading a

story

is one kind of mental exercise. Reading a

Correct your spelling

storybook

show examples

story

Correct your spelling

storybook

show examples

book

increased offspring’s imagination and confidence level. When

children

are reading

Add an article

a story

the story

show examples

story

Fix the agreement mistake

stories

show examples

from

books

, they create their own world by imagination. In our country,

for instance

, a survey shows that those

children

who attach to

story

books

or spend their spare time reading a

book

are too confident and can build extraordinary academic background than they are obsessed with

or computer. That’s why reading different kinds of stories

book

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the most important.

On the other hand

, watching

or playing video

games

are detrimental for infants.

This

is simply because watching too much

or playing

games

, it suffers many types of health issues.

Such

as obesity, back pain and eyes problem etc.

In front

Change preposition

Front

show examples

of sitting on the

or computer hours after hours,

children

are suffering from back pain gain

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much weight as well as damage their eyes gradually. Even though their brain will not work effectively.

For example

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

back pain ratio is increased day by day and they

also

gain too much weight quickly. Because they are not doing

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

physical activities. In future, these diseases will be

Add a hyphen

life-threatening

show examples

life - threatening

Correct your spelling

life-threatening

show examples

for

children

. Every

infants

Change to a singular noun

infant

show examples

should

away

Add a missing verb

be away

show examples

from the

or video

games

. In conclusion, reading a storybook gives everyone inner peace and

children

are gaining their self-confidence and creative ability. Adolescents should be attentive

reading

Correct word choice

while reading

show examples

stories from

books

and they have to forget spending time with

games

Submitted by amijoyee on Mon Aug 22 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people say that we should not encourage sport games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with?

Topic: People are living in a “throw-away society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

Some people think employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but the quality at work. To what extent you agree or disagree?