IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In a number of countries, some people think that it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructiong new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #constructiong #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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Spending more
money
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 on new
railway
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 lines and old public
transport
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 is debatable. In some ,countries
people
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 believe that it is important to spend more
money
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 on new
railway
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 tracks between cities, while others argue that it will be better if the old
transport
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 system is improved. In
this
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, I will discuss both arguments in detail and provide some reasons why spending
money
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 on existing public
transport
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 is more beneficial.
First
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 and foremost, spending
money
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 is required for the
construction
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 of new
railway
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 lines. Travelling by train is an old cost-saving way of transportation. To illustrate, most
people
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 prefer to travel by train because it is very cheap but the
railway
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 tracks used for transportation are very old and damaged. which may cause some types of accidents. For the convenience of
people
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 and to avoid some big accidents, spending
money
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 on the
construction
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 of new
railway
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 tracks for fast trains is very important.
On the other hand
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, a huge amount of
money
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 is needed for the development of the old
transport
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 system. Almost 90% of
people
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 chose to travel through public
transport
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 which requires maintenance.
For example
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, the roads are not suitable for driving.
Additionally
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, the buses and other vehicles used for public
transport
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 are very old and uncomfortable. To make the journey comfortable for
people
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, a handsome amount of
money
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 is necessary for the
construction
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 of roads and the improvement of vehicles. To conclude,
this
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 essay discussed why more
money
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 is required for the
construction
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 of new
railway
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 lines and the improvement of existing public
transport
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. In my opinion, spending more
money
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 on the development of public
transport
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 is more beneficial because most
people
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 use public
transport
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 for their journey.
Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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