These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children’s #behavior

Nowadays , for

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the

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purpose

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growing their audience,

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mass

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mas

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mass

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media

has more and more

transmision

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transmission

with

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aggressive

agressive

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aggressive

content . Many

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people

poeple

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people

think

the

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apply

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violent

shows have an

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extremely

extremly

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extremely

bad impact on kids

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which

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wich

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which

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is reflected

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their

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they

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the

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attitude. I

totaly

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totally

agree with

this

, and I think violent

shows badly

affects

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affect

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children's

personality

and conduct.

Firstly

kids

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kids'

kid's

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corect

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correct

judgement are very fragile and they hardly can make the difference between good and bad when they see in

media

the

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apply

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aggressive

agressive

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aggressive

adult

behaviour

Childehood

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Childhood

being

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personality forming

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personality-forming

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period in a

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young

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youngs

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young

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life , and adults are considered their

guidence

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guidance

consequently

they take the

adults

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adult's

adults'

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actions as an example, even from

transmissions. What they see in

media

they could consider

this

is a normal way of

behaviour

For example

,many

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young

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youngs

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young

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have as

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role model

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a rolemodel

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rolemodel

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role model

star.For those

kids

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,kids

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they

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their

show examples

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role model

rolemodel

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role model

actions will be a behavioural

guidence

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guidance

,even if the star is playing in a movie.

Secondly

those

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for those

show examples

children who are more sensitive than the

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average

avarege

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average

, violence in

media

could provoke depression and antisocial

behaviour

Teenegers

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Teenagers

with psychological lability are

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extremely

extremly

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extremely

exposed to the

media

's bad influence .Many statistics showed that criminals and people with antisocial

behaviour

have met

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aggression

agression

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aggression

or have seen violent

manifestation

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manifestations

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in childhood.

Also

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,Also

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statistics

statistisc

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statistics

has been made about social

media

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media's

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influence on youths, and the result was

devastateing

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devastating

; children who watched

uncotroled

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uncontrolled

by parents

was

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were

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much more predicted to

depression

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have depression

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, suicide and

intoverted

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introverted

personality

. In conclusion, due to the growing violence in television ,the young generation is exposed to an

uncontroled

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uncontrolled

bad influence of the

media

upon them ,which can have devastating

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consequences

consecvences

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consequences

the youths

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the youth's behaviour and personality

the behaviour and personality of the youth

show examples

behaviour

and

personality

Submitted by virlicstunde on Mon Aug 22 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
63Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

274 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many students are choosing not to study science in universities.what are the causes for that.what are the effects of that

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

2- Playing computer games only has negative effects on children

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion