In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extend do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some people that believe females no longer desire to get married because they can remain financially secure without the help of a partner. I agree that many people can live independently on their own salary
however
Linking Words
, marriage brings much more to a person’s
life
Use synonyms
than just money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
many other reasons to consider why
women
Use synonyms
are no longer eager to wed.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
gained independence over the
last
Linking Words
few decades, their financial situations have changed, and many
women
Use synonyms
are earning well enough to look after themselves. More and more females are empowered through businesses, entrepreneurial enterprises and art and can afford a comfortable lifestyle without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial help from a marital partner.
For example
Linking Words
, Jenny Bruwer, a young entrepreneur who gained excessive wealth through her own
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
start up
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
business and has been single all her
life
Use synonyms
. But marriage is not only about financial security and there could be a variety of other reasons why ladies are no longer expressing interest in
aquiring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
a spouse. Some might not want the companionship of a
life
Use synonyms
partner while others could feel they do not want to be tied down or held back in
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there could be opportunities that cross your path where you could travel but being in a committed relationship might stand in the way of accepting
such
Linking Words
an offer.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is easier to be independent and free from any
such
Linking Words
obligations. Marriage is certainly no longer a societal must and many
women
Use synonyms
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
a secure and independent lifestyle without a marital commitment. The empowerment of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
that we have witnessed over the
last
Linking Words
10 years has led to independence and
therefore
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
can certainly be happy and financially secure without being married.
Submitted by minnaar.m80 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: