IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Only government action can solve housing shortages in big cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In a world with more than 190 countries, we can observe different approaches to the problem of accommodation. These communities are generally divided into two big parts one of which, is the sufficient number of big cities that are experiencing shortages of places to live. I totally agree with some, who believe that governments should take a series of actions to overcome
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, with the advent of technology, the population is migrating from rural areas to economically stronger cities and in most cases, the reason for
that is
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 not their interest in bleeding-edge applications.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people in villages or in less organized infrastructural places are relocating for better jobs, living standards and education. When the governments concentrate their all attention on building new working places, educational institutions and governmental establishments in some areas of the country, they lead other parts of their region to economic regression.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, particular cities are overpopulating and environmentally damaging.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it might seem
not clear
Rephrase
unclear

This phrase may be negated incorrectly.

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, but the main source of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 kind of issue is the dishonesty of government workers who are corrupted by dictators at the top of the country. Unfortunately, average citizens should have to obey these strict rules despite the threat to their lives.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many people are ready to live in the small corner of megapolises, in order to get a job as a cheap working force to earn some money in their homelands. In some cases, even they have to leave their borders and relocate to developed regions for a better life. A good example of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 might be countries of far Eastern and African countries, where personal interest and civil wars are highly exceeded. In conclusion, I strongly believe, that the problems like house shortage in a particular part of the world are directly related to the government's attitude in their areas. Wisdom and fair contribution of resources among people are the best solutions not only for that case but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 for other aspects of the issues in the world.

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task response
Your essay addresses the task question by discussing the role of government in solving housing shortages in big cities. However, your examples and arguments could be more focused and specific to the task at hand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of your ideas and examples could be better organized and connected to each other more coherently.
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