In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

These days
can be seen
Verb problem
,
show examples
the cultivation industry has developed,
however
many people around the
world
die because of being hungry.In
this
essay, I will be reviewing the causes and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
propose solutions to nip these issues in the bud. Nowadays,
although
cultivation has experienced wide progress rather the past,
this
progress belongs to some communities and in many parts of the
world
, agriculture remained in the old way. In fact, these countries do not have the
technology
or infrastructure to do modern cultivation.
For example
, in Iran despite suitable land, people do not have modern tools or do not use modern method for agriculture, so the government need to import crops.
Additionally
, many parts of the country cannot afford to provide or import crops for their population.
For instance
, most African communities deal with being hungry.
This
is because the governments do not have enough budget to provide food.
On the other hand
, to prevent from hungry, developed regions should cooperate with each other and can help other countries.
In other words
, reaching society by giving money or
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sciences to poor society can improve the food problem in the
world
. To illustrate, Israel
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
the UAE and
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
them the
technology
to construct a building which can produce vegetables for all population of Dubai (which is located in the desert).
In addition
, the Unesco
institute
Capitalize word
Institute
show examples
collects money and provides food for poor nations in Africa and helps them to survive. In conclusion, in my opinion,
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
the
technology
or being poor can make people hungry.
Nevertheless
, the communities which are reached and have the
technology
, by cooperating with poor countries can solve the need for eat around the
world
.
Submitted by moradkhanighane on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of hunger and proposing solutions. Ensure a more balanced approach by addressing both causes and solutions in equal depth.
task achievement
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are opportunities to improve the linkage of ideas within paragraphs for better flow and coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: