In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

These days

can be seen

Verb problem

show examples

the cultivation industry has developed,

however

many people around the

world

die because of being hungry.In

this

essay, I will be reviewing the causes and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

propose solutions to nip these issues in the bud. Nowadays,

although

cultivation has experienced wide progress rather the past,

this

progress belongs to some communities and in many parts of the

world

, agriculture remained in the old way. In fact, these countries do not have the

technology

or infrastructure to do modern cultivation.

For example

, in Iran despite suitable land, people do not have modern tools or do not use modern method for agriculture, so the government need to import crops.

Additionally

, many parts of the country cannot afford to provide or import crops for their population.

For instance

, most African communities deal with being hungry.

This

is because the governments do not have enough budget to provide food.

On the other hand

, to prevent from hungry, developed regions should cooperate with each other and can help other countries.

In other words

, reaching society by giving money or

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

sciences to poor society can improve the food problem in the

world

. To illustrate, Israel

help

Wrong verb form

helped

show examples

the UAE and

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

them the

technology

to construct a building which can produce vegetables for all population of Dubai (which is located in the desert).

In addition

, the Unesco

institute

Capitalize word

Institute

show examples

collects money and provides food for poor nations in Africa and helps them to survive. In conclusion, in my opinion,

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

the

technology

or being poor can make people hungry.

Nevertheless

, the communities which are reached and have the

technology

, by cooperating with poor countries can solve the need for eat around the

world

Submitted by moradkhanighane on Tue Aug 23 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of hunger and proposing solutions. Ensure a more balanced approach by addressing both causes and solutions in equal depth.

task achievement

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are opportunities to improve the linkage of ideas within paragraphs for better flow and coherence.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

What to do next:

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computer and Al technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this positive or negative development?

Nowadays, when popular consumer products sell well, it is not because of societal requirements but because of advertising's influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?