Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is visible that
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
amount of patients
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
suffering
various
Change preposition
from various
show examples
diseases in today's world,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
of them are attempting to seek help from diverse medications and therapies, compared
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
meeting a
doctor
. Many factors are responsible for the trend of
this
phenomenon.
This
essay will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
sides of the phenomenon, and I personally reckon that as a positive development,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there
exists
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
points.
Firstly
,
people
's acquisition of solutions for their health problems has been exposed in various ways, and
that is
the top priority why
people
choose to try different therapies.
For instance
, due to the
Correct your spelling
appearance
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
of the internet, citizens are much
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
show examples
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
search the case studies of certain diseases, which is far more convenient than before,
thus
detailed diagnoses can be seen by
people
.
For instance
, I myself had once experienced
an intensive flu
Change the article
the intensive flu
intensive flu
show examples
, because of
the
Change the word
my
show examples
occupation, there is no time for me to meet a
doctor
, so I searched the relative case and found a solid medicine solution. Under
this
circumstance, I opine
this
trend
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
a considerably positive way.
However
, though more medical methods are provided for patients, the results
are not seemingly go
Change the verb form
are not seemingly going
show examples
well because the online diagnoses are not perfectly accurate. After long terms of training
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
medication, doctors are undoubtedly more expertized and capable to offer a proper, detailed check on diseases, whereas seeing a
doctor
is still necessary if the health problems are severe. In conclusion,
people
do device more methods and rights for their own health status,
nontheless
Correct your spelling
nonetheless
the internet
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
helpful to diagnose, but when thorny medical problem
accurs
Correct your spelling
occurs
, paying a visit to a
doctor
is still compulsory.
Correct your spelling
After all
show examples
Afterall
Correct your spelling
After all
show examples
, I hold the viewpoint that the positive aspects of the development
overweights
Change the verb form
overweight
show examples
its demerits.
Submitted by maizhuoyuan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: