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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against eachother. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

#cultures #children #eachother #approach
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Many parents in some countries expect their
children
Use synonyms
 to act competitively. They encourage them to have abilities in many subjects or activities better than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. Actually, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
 matter.
Children
Use synonyms
 will have an intelligence quotient (
IQ
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) whereas they have not necessarily emotional quotient (
EQ
Use synonyms
). For people who stand on the
advantageous
Replace the word
advantage
show examples
,
children
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 are an asset that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
amazing
Correct article usage
an amazing
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 ability to learn a new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 and reach a fantastic
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
 when they give a proper environment. It will enhance their brilliance.
For example
Linking Words
, an infant can swim and a toddler reading easily.
This
Linking Words
 ability is not achieved even by adults when they have no practice. When
children
Use synonyms
 give a new lesson and repetition, it is trusted to gain more
IQ
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 for them. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some disadvantages to learning early by parents or school
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. Every stage has its developmental. To illustrate, a child below five has a golden age that works properly if they play naturally. Play is vital to
children
Use synonyms
's life. it can push up their
EQ
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. If
children
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 are forced to learn early, it will decrease their
EQ
Use synonyms
. The
EQ
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 will impact somebody's life rather than the
IQ
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the people who succeed in the world
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not from their
IQ
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, but mostly from their good. To conclude,
children
Use synonyms
 are
Add an article
an investment
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investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future world.
Although
Linking Words
 it has the advantage to encourage
children
Use synonyms
 competitively, the force it will impact
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour. Good behaviour is an
EQ
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 more important for
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
 people.
Submitted by nora on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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