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Band 5

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
It is true that nowadays
people
 are becoming more conscious about their lifestyle, and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 urban
areas
 became
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
busier than rural
areas
.
However
, in
this
essay
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,essay
show examples
 I'm going to present some problems and some effective ways to overcome
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. There are many problems that
people
 get while they are living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the country
show examples
Correct your spelling
countryside
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country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
 rather than
urban
Add an article
the urban
an urban
show examples
side
.
In addition
, to get better educational institutions a lot of
people
 moving their accommodation to town
side
, because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 institutions are situated in
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
side
, while there
are
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is
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 a massive cause of transportations
people
 are coming for a long period in urban
side
 to get
touch
Add an article
a touch
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 on time. In
this
 case,
government
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the government
show examples
 should build more quality full educational institutions in rural
areas
that
Correct word choice
so that
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 every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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 can ensure their children’s a delightful future.
Moreover
,
people
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,people
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 who are living in rural
areas
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are passing an obstacle
of
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to
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 getting higher
qualityfull
Correct your spelling
quality full
 health services than townish citizens. To handle
this
 situation the
government
 can build more free hospitals
included
Wrong verb form
including
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world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
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check
Add a hyphen
check-up
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up
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apply
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machines and stuff.
Besides
, If the
government
 can locate some super shops
in
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on
show examples
rural
Add an article
the rural
a rural
show examples
side
Correct word choice
so that
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that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
 can get their daily needed products and services without spending much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 and money
then
people
 can get a modern time like urban
areas
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
people
 have the right to choose
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 life and destination in any part of the country, but I believe that If all of
things
Add an article
the things
show examples
 that
people
 want to get
a better days
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better day
better days
show examples
 will
accomplished
Change the verb form
be accomplished
show examples
 within easy reach,
then
 the
government
 could deal with
this
 issue more efficiently.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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