IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

#say #majority #employees #home #workplace
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that working from home is better than travelling to a workplace every day. I think that the benefits of working from home outweigh the demerits. Beginning with the fact that, it can save time which is valuable and
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 fees which can reduce the amount of finance that the employees obtain.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to go to the office approximately 1 hour early because of the traffic jam in urban cities. In spite of wasting their time on buses and cars, it is better to
work
Use synonyms
 from house.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will cost
totally
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
60000
Change preposition
of 60000
show examples
 kyats which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 nearly half of the salary if travelling by bus or taxi costs 2000 kyats
for
Change preposition
apply
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each day.
In addition
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,
people
Use synonyms
 will not obtain the
Correct your spelling
finance
finacne
Correct your spelling
finance
that is
Linking Words
 used for
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 from their companies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working from house is more relaxed and can
potect
Correct your spelling
protect
 from the
dieases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 which can have negative impacts on their working life.
For instance
Linking Words
, they are allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 from house in these days due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Covid 19 which is the pandemic
Correct your spelling
disease
diease
Correct your spelling
disease
. And
then
Linking Words
, being healthy plays an important role in working life because both the employees and companies can lose their profits and opportunities. After that, they will feel relaxed if they
work
Use synonyms
 from
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
Correct your spelling
because
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 there can live closely with
Correct your spelling
their
theri
Correct your spelling
their
 family.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the more relaxed they are, the better things they can do at their
work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 assume that working
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is better than going to the workplace on daily
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
. From my point of view, the advantages of working from
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more than the drawbacks.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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