Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion?

#people #schools #effects #society

The school plays a vital role in children's behaviour towards society ,especially during their secondary education. Few believe that private institutes produce a more responsible generation towards the community.

On the other hand

, some argue that private secondary academy has a negative impact on the nation and I agree with the latter. Let us discuss both views in

this

essay.

Firstly

, in private

schools

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,schools

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equal importance

are

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given to both, academics and sports. The students from these academies manage to secure a good career in sports as well as in other sectors.

For instance

, a student who has good sports skills can compete, and win at national level games and represent our country. A student with good academics can secure a top college for his higher education.

Hence

private

Correct article usage

a private

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academy

Fix the agreement mistake

academies

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can be an advantage for secondary university students.

Secondly

, though the educational quality of private academy

are

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good, the tuition fees are very high.

This

makes the

middle class

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middle-class

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people

Change the verb form

apply

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think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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quality education is for the rich, and they stop their children from

studies

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

As a result

, more number of youngsters end up going for daily wages job. The future of

country

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the country

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will be impacted when young minds are not educated. In conclusion , there are benefits in

private

Add an article

the private

a private

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institute with regards to quality, but at the same time number of students benefitted

Change preposition

from

show examples

the university

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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limited due to high fee structures.

Therefore

, private schools would be

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negative impact on young minds as well as

towards

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show examples

the society and nation.

Submitted by t.harivignesh on Wed Aug 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has change because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Despite the availability of many translation softwares, it is still beneficial to learn a language. Agree or disagree?

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?