In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #children

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people argue that are concerned about the number of

children

Use synonyms

who are overweight. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of reasons behind the phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and individuals to improve the situation. There are two main reasons associated with

this

Linking Words

tendency,

Firstly

Linking Words

poor diet,

this

Linking Words

is mainly due to

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

lack of

excecise

Correct your spelling

exercise

. Fortunately,

Correct your spelling

several

serveral

Correct your spelling

several

measures could be taken to

allaviate

Correct your spelling

alleviate

this

Linking Words

problem. The

first

Linking Words

solution would be

educate

Fix the infinitive

to educate

show examples

children

Use synonyms

about healthy food. They learn to use which kind of food.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

they know how to prepare

simply

Replace the word

simple

show examples

healthy meals. Another solution is to encourage youngth people to exercise according to some

Correct your spelling

research

reseach

Correct your spelling

research

They spend more time

to play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

sports.

For example

Linking Words

, Football, badminton, running, jogging,… are very good for

health

Correct pronoun usage

your health

show examples

. In conclusion, It is clear that various reasons for overweight in

children

Use synonyms

and steps need to be taken by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem. It can be predicted that there are many

children

Use synonyms

who are healthy life.

Submitted by rongvietcc on Thu Aug 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

165 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It has become a debate on whether it is economically feasible for the human population to
5
band
Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects . Others say it causes the loss of national identities.Discuss both of these views and give your own opnion.
Society has different views about the positive effects of global trade and cultural transactions between nations, some people think it's beneficial. Whereas there are a few who feel that the identity of the country may fade away through such exchanges, increasing trade and acculturation between countries has advantages and disadvantages. Let me discuss both views and give my personal opinion.
5.5
band
Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. Do you agree or disagree?
How useful are sports players to our society? Do they earn too much money? This essay will discuss these questions.
6.5
band
More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantanges? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
There is no doubt that these days a lot of parents prefer to have children at a later age in their lives.
<4
band
These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?
Recently the evidences of crime and abuse have been increased, hence theose have a negative impact on children's behaviour, in this essay I shall discuss my point of view according this subject, also I shall give my opinion

In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects . Others say it causes the loss of national identities.Discuss both of these views and give your own opnion.

Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. Do you agree or disagree?

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantanges? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?