In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #children

Many people argue that are concerned about the number of

children

who are overweight. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of reasons behind the phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and individuals to improve the situation. There are two main reasons associated with

this

tendency,

Firstly

poor diet,

this

is mainly due to

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

Secondly

lack of

excecise

Correct your spelling

exercise

. Fortunately,

Correct your spelling

several

serveral

Correct your spelling

several

measures could be taken to

allaviate

Correct your spelling

alleviate

this

problem. The

first

solution would be

educate

Fix the infinitive

to educate

show examples

children

about healthy food. They learn to use which kind of food.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

they know how to prepare

simply

Replace the word

simple

show examples

healthy meals. Another solution is to encourage youngth people to exercise according to some

Correct your spelling

research

reseach

Correct your spelling

research

They spend more time

to play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

sports.

For example

, Football, badminton, running, jogging,… are very good for

health

Correct pronoun usage

your health

show examples

. In conclusion, It is clear that various reasons for overweight in

children

and steps need to be taken by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

to tackle

this

problem. It can be predicted that there are many

children

who are healthy life.

Submitted by rongvietcc on Thu Aug 25 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

165 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.