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Band 5

single career is out of fashion and multi career is good for earn more . to waht extent do you agree ?

#career #fashion #multi #waht
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 single
career
 is out of date it is old fashion
one
 and the latest trend
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 select several
career
Change to a plural noun
careers
show examples
 to earn money easy and better for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Yes
Add the punctuation
,Yes
show examples
 I agreed with the statement that several
occupation
Change to a plural noun
occupations
show examples
 has many benefits to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 revenue and
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
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 knowledge
however
in
Change preposition
apply
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a single
career
 has only
one
 source of earning. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we demonstrate the following points. To commence with the more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
one
career
 option is that to obtain various
profession
 because in
single
Add an article
a single
the single
show examples
career
 they just master in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
career
 and have
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 source of earning throughout the year
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 a teacher cannot have
option
Change the article
the option
show examples
 to switch to the other
profession
 because they have no experience and as well as knowledgeable so it is gain to opt multiple
career
Change to a plural noun
careers
show examples
 insisted of individual
career
.
Moreover
, in a multiple
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 we can do job 9 to 5 and
then
 after that we start our own business through
this
 we get various experience and met with the different kind of people with the numerous knowledge they give new opportunity and built confidence oneself in comparison to
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
career
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 MBA holder can do multitasking business like in shares, sales marketing ,data and many more so, various
profession
 is better to obtain in a competitive world to survive in the society. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I think that obtaining numerous sources
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 benefits rather than solely
career
 it is important to make
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 financial condition in less time to secure our future.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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