Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from you own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays
children
’s
Correct your spelling
aggression
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
is one of the most
discussion
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discussed
show examples
topics.
Although
the way of moderating conflicts between
children
is the most popular topic which psychologists discuss. I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
that people should teach
children
how not to be toxic in interactions. In
this
essay
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,essay
show examples
I will highlight the possible points why it is better for
children
avoid
Add the particle
to avoid
show examples
aggression.
First
of all, the one of main goals of parenting is to show
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
how to be
carrying
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carried
show examples
to all living things. To feel empathy is a crucial basis for
moral
Add an article
the moral
show examples
health of the future generation. If every child will think that it is inappropriate to hurt someone, there will not
a
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be a
show examples
conflict situation.
For example
, it was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
BBC research that showed that
children
who have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
brothers or sisters are more thoughtful with other
children
,
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apply
show examples
because they know how to care
other
Change preposition
about other
show examples
people’s
fillings
Correct your spelling
feelings
show examples
.
Secondly
, violence begets violence. If everyone will answer aggression to aggression, there will be a circle of negative emotions. Actually, it is impossible to win the
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
by using the same methods. I think in
case
Add an article
a case
show examples
like that the best choice is to try to explain that person’s feelings had been hurt and try to find the exit from the situation together.
For example
, there was a CNT research that showed that parents who
pays
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pay
show examples
attention
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
methods of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
way to
resolving
Wrong verb form
resolve
show examples
conflicts have kids who have more successful communication. In conclusion, as adults teach kids about carrying feelings and avoiding violence, the young generation
become
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becomes
show examples
more supportive and emphatic. It could help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people improve their emotional intellect in the future.
Submitted by mmolodtsov on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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