IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health service. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?

#habit #claims #lives #drain #health #service #combat #government #policy #alternative #strategies
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Intake of
Tobacco
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the highest
form
Change to a plural noun
forms
show examples
 of addiction in almost 90%
Change preposition
of individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 worldwide. The whole
of
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apply
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respiratory
Add an article
the respiratory
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 system gets immunocompromised and
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
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 up with various infections including pneumonia.
Hence
Linking Words
,it can be completely terminated from regulatory bodies worldwide. Keeping all
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
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 of
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 and
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
,
one
Use synonyms
 must think of the future generation and must stop themselves.
however
Linking Words
 certain methods can be implemented to diminish smoking. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
Use synonyms
tobacco
Add an article
the tobacco
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 industry is
one
Use synonyms
 largest growing
business
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businesses
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 worldwide with more than 50% of
profit
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the profit
show examples
 directly earned by our
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 through tax.
This
Linking Words
 situation has arrived due to
increseae
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
stressed up
Add a hyphen
stressed-up
show examples
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 lifestyle.Statistically,Women
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 50%
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 entire
tobacco
Use synonyms
 consumption.It is exactly equal to the
Correct your spelling
men's
means
mens
Change to a genitive case
men's
show examples
 count of intake.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the gradual surge of smoking is leading to
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
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 of several deadly diseases.
For example
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,a pregnant woman gives birth to an abnormal foetus if she takes up smoke during her gestation period.It is highly teratogenic.
Additionally
Linking Words
,a man gets highly dependent on
this
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 addiction and over-consumption leads to chronic obstructive pulmonary illness. Smoking is responsible for all possible critical diseases with higher mortality risks.Passive smoking is much more harmful than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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active smoking.
As a result
Linking Words
,both
smoker
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smokers
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 and
non-smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
non-smokers
show examples
group
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groups
show examples
 are getting
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by
tobacco
Use synonyms
 intake.To completely terminate
such
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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,newer policies must be proposed and strict rules must be incorporated in public places.
For example
Linking Words
,In
kolkata
Change the capitalization
Kolkata
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,mostly all architectural buildings and historical monuments
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
 all smoking inside their
Correct your spelling
premises
show examples
premisses
Correct your spelling
premises
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, keeping all money-making beneficiary options in mind,all official regulatory legal norms should be made against smoking.The awareness to minimalize smoking must be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 to reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of passive smoking to the vulnerable non-smoking population.
Submitted by Ananya Saha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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