Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the high
sugar-content
Correct your spelling
sugar content
show examples
of industrially processed food and beverage items is
one
of the major causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
some fatal health issues, leading to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
idea that it is necessary to discourage the consumption of
sugar
by increasing its price. While I agree that most processed food and drinks are harmful, I believe raising the expense of
sugar
is not an effective method to put into practice. On the
one
hand, it is certain that most manufactured food and drinks are
one
of the primary causes of diabetes and obesity. Researchers in the field of
nutrition
and psychology concluded that apart from
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
four types of
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
, sweetness contributes mostly to addiction. If a person is addicted to sweetness, which means they could binge a pack of soft drinks on a daily basis, resulting in a large surplus in carbohydrate content.
Overtime
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
,
this
surplus in
sugar
-content causes their metabolism to malfunction, leading to a metabolic disorder commonly called diabetes.
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the other hand,
sugar
should not be raised in price, due to the fact that it is
one
of the primary sources of
nutrition
. Most people think that increasing the expense of
sugar
is effective to reduce the consumers’ desire to purchase, but
this
strategy can do harm to the financial situation of some average to low-income households. Since
sugar
, or carbohydrate, is an essential
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
show examples
value, the pricing of
sugar
should be accessible for average consumers to provide them with adequate
nutrition
. As an alternative, the use of natural sweeteners
such
as honey should be promoted widely, so that consumers can feel the urge to switch from regular
sugar
to a healthier option. In summary, even though processed foods and beverages can be in fact harmful to a person’s well-being, adding
price
Correct article usage
a price
show examples
to regular
sugar
should not be advocated by any means.
Submitted by walltran0309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: