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Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools have a limited amount of money to spend. Some people suggest that it should be spend on good teachers, while others say it should be spent for buying equipment like computers. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In Perú, there are many schools which are quite different. Between them,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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 a few
educative
Correct word choice
educational
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 places have approached an awesome learning level, but countless others have not gotten close to it
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 a little bit.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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this
Linking Words
 immense difference could have been happening because of either a lack of good teachers or an absence of equipment. In the following text, we are going to assess whether the schools should use their budget to buy acceptable equipment or hire better faculty. On the one hand, we must concur about the fact that having excellent teachers is a part of the bedrock of all schools since ever.
Remarkably
Punctuation problem
Remarkably,
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this
Linking Words
 truth is based on that without a competent
cadre
Punctuation problem
cadre,
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 any student could be guided
properly
Punctuation problem
properly,
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 even though they have the best technology. In the same way, school cadres do not work just as teachers, but
also
Linking Words
 as examples for the future of society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some electronic gadgets have become essential for almost all
folk
Check wording
people
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 in countless situations.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays I am sure about the fact that no one could imagine a class without computers, microphones, internet, projectors, cell phones, etc.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in my point of view, our electronic devices have turned into a part of ourselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if we had not used them, we would not be as today. In conclusion, we must agree that both inversions outweigh innumerable other options because they are the base of any learning centre indeed.
Besides
Linking Words
, in my point of view, no
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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school could be competitive if
do
Wrong verb form
it does
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 not use electronic devices and hire a fruitful cadre.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Say what you will write in each part and make your view clear at the end.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that tells the point.
coherence
Use easy linking words to show flow, like first, also, but, however, therefore, and finally.
task response
Be clear about your stance. The final choice should be easy to see for the reader.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple words and avoid rare phrases.
content
Give a real example to back up points about the two sides.
task response
The essay shows two views and a final opinion.
coherence
It uses on the one hand / on the other hand to show balance.
content
The topic is about schools in Peru, so the content stays on the task.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • money
  • spend
  • spend on
  • cost
  • price
  • value for money
  • priority
  • quality
  • teacher
  • teachers
  • class size
  • teaching
  • training
  • professional development
  • motivation
  • feedback
  • learning
  • student
  • pupil
  • learner
  • equipment
  • computers
  • devices
  • tech
  • digital
  • access
  • information
  • skills
  • practice
  • learning tools
  • distance learning
  • maintenance
  • repair
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • impact
  • benefit
  • advantage
  • drawback
  • balance
  • planning
  • investment
  • policy
  • implementation
  • monitoring
  • outcome
  • success
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