IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that school children should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #school #children #uniform #clothes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that many countries face dilemmas as to whether uniforms should be compulsory in
school
Use synonyms
 or not. Some individuals believe that
Use synonyms
school children
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
 should be made to wear a
uniform
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that children should
choose
Verb problem
make
show examples
 their own choice in terms of their own clothes. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look at both views and explain my opinion on why I think that the
dress
Use synonyms
 code must be compulsory for
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
, and I will explain my reasons for it. On the one hand, there are many reasons why the
dress
Use synonyms
 code should be compulsory for
students
Use synonyms
 to wear in
school
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, a
uniform
Use synonyms
 plays a great role in an individual's life. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
dress
Use synonyms
 code is a unique identifier for a student.
For example
Linking Words
, we can find any student from many with the help of his or her
uniform
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it helps to remove caste discrimination from society and from
students
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 is because if every student wears the same
uniform
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 no one can judge each other as a rich or poor person.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, wearing
Correct article usage
a
show examples
uniform
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 feel more confident and well-mannered which helps them in their future careers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many causes why some people claim that children should be free to choose their own clothes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps individuals to stay in their choice and for that reason, they do not create any
such
Linking Words
 violence against the government.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 like to wear new branded clothes
while
Linking Words
 going to
school
Use synonyms
, which helps them to stay updated with new branded clothing which is
also
Linking Words
 important for them.
Hence
Linking Words
, pupils feel more comfortable and convenient by selecting
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 as per their choice.
To conclude
Linking Words
, In my opinion, I think that
dress
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory for
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 because it is a unique identity for an individual and
remove
Change the verb form
removes
show examples
 caste discrimination from society.
Submitted by thespoof318 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that introduces both views and your opinion. Develop a stronger conclusion summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.
task response
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. Ensure that your ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of unity
  • belonging
  • peer pressure
  • appropriate clothes
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • bullying
  • social segregation
  • individuality
  • personal style
  • self-expression
  • inclusive
  • diverse environment
  • real-world scenarios
  • appropriate clothing choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: