IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Due to the development and the expansion of supermarkets many small, local markets are unable to compete. some people think that the clossing off local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent
Rephrase
Recently
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, a lot of supermarkets
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 widespread all over the world no matter what country. Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that local stores will be closed because big companies will be occupied. In my opinion, I partly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. First of all, it is evident that local residents trust local businesses.
This
Linking Words
 is because they had a strong relationship between staff and
people
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 for a long time.
For example
Linking Words
, there is the nearest supermarket which has been in business for 70 years. At that time, local
people
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 already trusted the store’s price, quality, and quantity. If a new big
one
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 is started in
this
Linking Words
 city, the crowd might not go easily because it is unfamiliar
for
Change preposition
to
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 them.
In addition
Linking Words
, some news is possible to make the chain store’s image bad.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the same company uses an illegal product,
people
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 are less
to
Correct word choice
likely to
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 purchase it at that supermarket.
However
Linking Words
, a smaller
one
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 has less possibility than a bigger
one
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that famous stores and companies are able to have many kinds of products. Since they have a lot of ways to bring and have sufficient money. To illustrate, They are able to have overseas food.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can supply cheaper prices than a local
one
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. They always buy a massive amount of products at once. As for
this
Linking Words
, they are able to do an inexpensive supply for
people
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, both opposite businesses can provide many kinds of profit for residents
such
Linking Words
 as value and price. From my point of view, I partly disagree because there is no crucial invasion for local businesses because credibility is
one
Use synonyms
 of the best reasons to buy a product from a local company.

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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