The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change their appearance? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

As technology advances, the demand for beauty is growing. The advantage of mic

plastic

surgery

is to help

people

with defects and sequelae after accidents, but

plastic

surgery

can have a negative impact on the community when some

people

are too abusive and can harm themselves.

To begin

with, we can't deny that

plastic

surgery

is bad. It helps

people

with defects

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and improves beauty and spirit.

For example

, a person who has an ugly or defective appearance and is very self-deprecating in society, but after many surgeries that person has a good appearance and feels confident with

people

Moreover

Plastic

surgery

has many disadvantages.

First

, the cost of

surgery

is extremely expensive.

Second

, it has a huge impact on health. Many

people

abuse

surgery

without following the doctor's advice.

In addition

, many

people

still have

surgery

at unscrupulous facilities.

As a result

, their bodies deform. In conclusion, the abuse of cosmetic

surgery

is extremely harmful. but

plastic

surgery

also

very important because it helps

people

with abnormal appearance to become normal

Submitted by nguyenminhthuy96ib on Fri Aug 26 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

173 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change their appearance? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify these problems and suggest ways through which governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Some people think that men and women have different qualitíe, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small home that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

A city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings.To what extent do you agree or disagree?