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Band 5.5

In recent times many people are making the decision to live alone. What are the causes of this? Does it have positive or negative effects on society?

#times #people #decision #effects #society
Nowadays, almost everyone thinks that
money
 is the most important factor in their
lives
.
Money
 lets
people
 live happily and enjoy their
lives
. We often spend 8 hours a day or more working and earn a salary. In order to pay daily bills,
essentials
Correct word choice
and essentials
show examples
, or cheer up our ordinary/ mediocre
lives
 with a ticket to the movie theatre, shopping, and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. But is
money
 the only reason
people
 pursue happiness? In my point of view,
this
 depends on each person’s opinion. It is true that
money
 plays an important role in today’s life as it helps us to improve our
lives
 and make our society become more enjoyable and pleasurable. In my country, there are a lot of rich
people
.
For instance
: actors, athletes, and singers. They get
money
 by having a lot of fans or admires following them.
However
, not all of them are content with/ interested in their wealthy
lives
. In fact, many newspapers write about celebrities. They admitted that they sometimes felt stress which made them rude and out of control/depressed toward other
people
.
Therefore
,
money
 doesn’t actually make humans happy. So if
money
 doesn’t bring happiness to
people
then
 what are the other factors? Some
people
 are enjoying their
lives
 when they have good partners around them. Or doing interesting activities to blow out the stress or have quality time with their family. Meanwhile, other
people
 are satisfied with their daily
lives
 when they help disadvantaged
people
, more unfortunate ones. I prefer to spend my time eating out in a restaurant or playing with my buddies. But having more
money
 would make everyone’s
lives
 become more enjoyable, better and better. Overall, without
money
, we can’t enjoy ourselves to the fulness.
However
, remember that we don’t have an endless life to chase
money
 as there are a lot of simple ways to find happiness, and live healthily.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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