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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents think that helping their children with homework is good. Others think children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #homework
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Nowadays , a few groups of people believe that they should help their
children
Use synonyms
 with homework ,
while
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 others think that they must do it with their own hands.
this
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 essay will argue with both views and give my personal opinion. The first and foremost reason is that if
guardian
Correct article usage
the guardian
show examples
 gives them relaxation for class , they will become a lazier person ,
in addition
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 , every day, they expect to do their application work from them ,
for example
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 , a number of
children
Use synonyms
 doing their tutorial from their parents
as a consequence
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 of they will not able to solve difficulty themselves.
Furthermore
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 , it impacts their examination , which will affect them in the future ,
due to
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 the lack of academic knowledge ,
for instance
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 , in India , 70% of engineers are unemployed now because of fewer research levels,
consequently
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 , disturbing their family budget.
Moreover
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 ,
children
Use synonyms
 will not do any kind of work without anybody's help , owing to what they did not do in the past ,
such
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 as , many
children
Use synonyms
's fathers have multinational
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
thus
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 they do not review ,
consequently
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 , it will not well perform in the business.
On the other hand
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 , they should help them , owing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they cannot solve a problem , if we suggest them , they will never do mistake in the future ,
such
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 as , numerous
children
Use synonyms
 run in the wrong way after they take advice from the parents and they will try to do
then
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 they realise the speech , which was given by the guardian.
Secondly
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mistake is the spice of life , everyone has done that but during
this
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 time they only want some amazing advice , which can solve it ,
for example
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 , students have not understood the question so they want to help someone , who can help them ,
consequently
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 , they make good score in the school. In conclusion , in my point of view , parents must help them because everyone has not performed well. Someone understands when they learn the topic twice time so they should help them.
Submitted by ssangani6161 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Use clear and sequential ideas to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more detailed and directly related to the topic. Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt.
task achievement
Your essay has relevant points, but they need to be developed further and supported with specific examples and relevant details. Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide clear and comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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