IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, car and other items. what are the reasons for this ? do you think it is positive or negative development ?

#people #brands #clothes #car #items #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 are spending much on goods
such
 as clothes,
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and other items. The main reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the quality of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 and to
showoff
Correct your spelling
show off
show examples
 to
people
purchase
Correct pronoun usage
who purchase
show examples
 these kinds of items.
However
 , I personally believe that it is negative development as it directly
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. The
first
 and foremost reason is that, owing to
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
products
maily
Correct your spelling
mainly
 these
company
Change the determiner
companies
show examples
 have goodwill in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 and they guarantee the
products
 so
people
 are more inclined to buy these types of
products
. To quote
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 example,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spark shoes are more durable and comfortable
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
other brand
Change the wording
another brand
other brands
show examples
, as well as
they
Add the comma(s)
,they
show examples
 give good services
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their customers . Another reason to support my ideology is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the branded
products
 show the
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 wealth and status in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
such
 as those who drive
mercedes
Change the capitalization
Mercedes
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
 in
society
. On the other side, when
people
 buy costly
products
 it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 financial burden .
Moreover
, when it comes to shopping , one should search the
Correct your spelling
products
produts
Correct your spelling
products
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other outlets .
Foe
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example,
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
Noadays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 many companies sell better
products
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 less price
such
 as Nike , Reebok and Puma .
In addition
 to that, they use recycle
products
 and it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 benefits . So
people
 should think twice before purchasing any
products
. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close scrutiny,
people
 are more
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
 to buy costly
products
 to show off to
society
 , and I believe that
people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 more on these
products
 which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 detrimental effects on
people
 and
society
.
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: