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Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
It is believed that formerly incarcerated people are the most appropriate ones to communicate with youngsters to avoid future delinquencies. I strongly agree with the idea, for it is a direct driving force to become morally better. Having past prisoners communicate with
teenagers
 decreases the juvenile crime rate.
Teenagers
 who have an opportunity to listen to the shares, especially those who hold rebellious thoughts or have been behind bars, are more likely to feel guilty and scared of what may happen to them like the ones sharing with them about the dangers. To illustrate the effectiveness of
such
 doing, talk shows having those with past criminal records are organised annually by some schools in Ho Chi Minh City. Over the years, it has explicitly led to a significant decrease in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 tide of young offending, and
a
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apply
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growth of ethical students. Yet, some readers may challenge the practice with the view that having
experts
 like psychiatrists present as ‘life coaches’ is more appropriate than former prisoners. people believe the
experts
 can provide relevant expertise that prevents impulsive actions from
teenagers
 and are safer to communicate.
However
, the knowledge imparted may not be a strong enough impact, for the
experts
 cannot express prisoners’ feelings of suffering and remorse vividly, the main factors making
teenagers
 stay away from delinquencies more effectively.  As long as the conversation is under strict supervision, there will be little chance for negative dissemination. In conclusion, it is true that
experts
 can offer moral insight to adolescents to form their mindsets. Still, inviting those who have been in prison to talk with
teenagers
 is a more thorough method, and should be done under strict supervision to avoid offences and negative dissemination.
Submitted by lethaovy on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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