Some people think that young people should follow traditions of the society, while other people think that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #society #individuals

A bunch of pupils believe that youngsters ought to go after the culture of the community,

on the

contrary

Add a comma

,contrary

show examples

some people claim that juveniles must be at liberty to act as single. Before giving my opinion I would like to look after both points. Discussing the foremost view, the

foremor

Correct your spelling

foremost

former

one is that,

customs

bind

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

with the aura and identity of the society. It will uphold, the social connection.

Furthermore

, in order to preserve

heritage

Add a comma

,heritage

show examples

it is mandatory to follow them. If children do not adopt their cultural knowledge after a matter of

time

it will fade and get extinct in

this

modern era.

Additionally

, an adaptation of traditional values teaches us to respect our elders which ultimately leads to a better bond between families and

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

also

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

the growth of civilization. Analyzing the other view, in

this

period of

time

every person has

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

and the right to do whatever they like.

This

is because if they have their own choices they can be more creative.

On the other hand

, some religious myths are better if they change or can be avoided. To illustrate

this

, in previous

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

womens

Correct your spelling

women

were forced to marry at

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age and were stopped from

Add an article

the study

show examples

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

further

. After a certain, age they have to do only household chores. But now as the

time

is changing people are neglecting

this

kind of

customs

Fix the agreement mistake

custom

show examples

and women are living their life on their own terms.

This

is a major

aspects

Change the noun form

aspect

show examples

of the development of the country. To conclude, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

,opinion

show examples

to follow

Change the verb form

following

show examples

customs

in order to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

inheritance of traditions from older to younger is very important. But

also

living life on own terms is

also

essential. So I believe

customs

ought to be followed but they should not be forced on the youngster and not be an obstacle to the growth of younger ones.

Submitted by patel22saumya on Sun Aug 28 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that young people should follow traditions of the society, while other people think that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self-employment?

In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?