IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’ How true do you think the statement is? What measures can governments take to discharge people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #‘one #traffic #jam’ #measures #governments #discharge #people #cars
İt is considered by some
people
 that
car
 ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the
world
 are now ‘one big
traffic
jam
’ . İn my opinion , the statement is true and governments can set up
conversations
 for one big
traffic
jam
 in
worldwive
Correct your spelling
worldwide
.
Firstly
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars are so popular in the
world
 and
therefore
 ,
people
 always prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cars for travelling or transport . Unfortunately , it is clear that the
world
 has become a big
traffic
jam
 in an obvious . and
also
 ,
problems
 take place
such
 as environmental
problems
 , global warming with the increase of
car
ownerships
 together .
For instance
 , the
people
 which wanna go to travel or their job can't go due to
traffic
 or the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
car
 ownership and the temperature experienced an increase due to cars . Another point to consider is that many
people
 that have a
car
 see these
problems
 as unnecessary . Governments can set up
conversations
 about the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
car
ownerships
Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
show examples
 if they wanna a decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
car
ownerships
 number. Because learning
conversations
 about
traffic
 provide many things like
people
's be more careful .
For instance
 , a government which experienced these
problems
 can eliminate them thanks to
conversations
 about
Change the noun form
worlds
world
show examples
world
's has become one big
traffic
jam
 . İn conclusion ,
car
ownerships
 number increased
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our earth and
therefore
 , the
world
 has become one big
traffic
jam
 . İn my opinion , governments can struggle with these
problems
 and afterwards they can eliminate them thanks to conservation organizations .
Submitted by atescagdas826 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: