IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some believe that children should be taught from a young age ow to handle money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Many people believe that
as
Correct word choice
apply
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a
todler
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toddler
 is taught the building blocks in learning to get a solid foundation in pronouncing words,
however
Linking Words
 in the same way
children
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 at a tender age should be guided and mentored on how to handle and manage the use of
money
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. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages
ofskillfully
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of skillfully
skillfully
 training
children
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 on how to make use of
money
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 at an early stage in their lives
of
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apply
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which I would like to shed more light on.
Firstly
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, financial freedom is one of the greatest life hacks an individual can be gifted with in recent years since it provides individuals with smart ways of handling
money
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 on a daily basis.
Children
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 taught to handle
money
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 develop a discernment of spending on what is more important
in
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on
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 a scale of preference which with time transforms into a habit and becomes part of their lives.
Secondly
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,
children
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 are able to understand the benefits of saving at the beginning of their lives because they are able to differentiate liabilities from assets
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, therefore,
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therefore
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 sparking an urge to create and innovate interesting ideas and ways of making genuine
money
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 which makes them financially independent.
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Also
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,Also
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 these
children
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 would
also
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 build
a
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confidence in taking business risks
such
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 as in the stock exchange market where after the fallow period they reap bountifully.
Finally
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, with all these benefits,
children
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 who are taught are able to reciprocate the acquired knowledge to others and the percentage of financially stable individuals will be on a sturdy rise as they become responsible adults who find themselves in government positions and
also
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 impact the
financial economic
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financial-economic
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 growth of the country. In conclusion, In my ,opinion building financial knowledge at an early age will not only make communities a safer place to live in terms of financial management but the nation as a whole.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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