Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, many countries are building large shopping
centers
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centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to cater
the
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for the

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needs of the people,
this
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is considered
as
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apply

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a move to prove the
nations
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nation's

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socio-economic
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improvements

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imrpovements
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improvements

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.
However
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, others think that
this
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development will lead to
closure
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the closure

The noun phrase closure seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of small businesses and later on leave the community members suffering. I
stronly
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strongly

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agree that the bankruptcy of small, local entrepreneurs
do
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does

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have a negative great impact not only
in
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on

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people's financial status
,
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apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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,
losing
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on losing

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local tradition. Capitalization is a major game in our modern world. Those who have good financial resources can easily start up a business by funding
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the constructions
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constructions
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construction

It seems that constructions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of buildings and employing a number of workers. Due to
many
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the many

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varities
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varieties

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of large shopping
store
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stores

It seems that store may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, people tend to go there to buy their needs.
However
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, local
shop
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owners usually have
limited
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a limited

The noun phrase limited budget seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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budget to keep the
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
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business

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going.
A
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In a

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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small gift
shop
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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
,for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

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example, the owners can only sell limited items since the capital is small. If shoppers will continue to ignore the local shops, no income will come in and the
shop
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be forced to close adding the
Correct your spelling
owner
ownner
Change the word
more own

Your word ownner incorrectly attempts to form a simple comparative or superlative adjective. Consider changing this to the appropriate compound form.

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to the long toll of jobless individuals.
In addition
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, the local shops are usually selling novelty items related to the heritage of the
the
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apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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community. It is a good way to
preseve
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preserve

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the culture so
younger
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the younger

The noun phrase younger generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation can learn old skills.
For instance
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, closure of a store, selling hand-made hats which
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use

It seems that the verb uses does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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local materials. The children will not be able to learn how to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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weave to create those hats;
instead
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, they will just buy
Add a hyphen
ready-made
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ready made
Add a hyphen
ready-made

It seems that ready made is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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Correct your spelling
headwear
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head wear
Correct your spelling
headwear

The word head wear seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. They will not be aware of what
they
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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place is known for. In conclusion,
although
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buildings and huge commercial establishments are signs of
improvements
Fix the agreement mistake
improvement

It seems that improvements may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in a country,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

result
Change the verb form
results

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb result are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a loss of livelihood of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun owners in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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local
shop
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

owners and vanishing old
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions

It seems that tradition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • local communities
  • wider range of products
  • convenience
  • unique character
  • personalized customer service
  • unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • traditional skills
  • craftsmanship
  • support
  • local economy
  • decline
  • community spirit
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