IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, many countries are building large shopping
centers
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centres
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 to cater
the
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for the
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 needs of the people,
this
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 is considered
as
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apply
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a move to prove the
nations
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nation's
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 socio-economic
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improvements
imrpovements
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improvements
.
However
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, others think that
this
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 development will lead to
closure
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the closure
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 of small businesses and later on leave the community members suffering. I
stronly
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strongly
 agree that the bankruptcy of small, local entrepreneurs
do
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does
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 have a negative great impact not only
in
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on
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 people's financial status
,
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apply
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 but
also
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,
losing
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on losing
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 local tradition. Capitalization is a major game in our modern world. Those who have good financial resources can easily start up a business by funding
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the constructions
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constructions
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construction
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 of buildings and employing a number of workers. Due to
many
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the many
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varities
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varieties
 of large shopping
store
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stores
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, people tend to go there to buy their needs.
However
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, local
shop
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 owners usually have
limited
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a limited
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 budget to keep the
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business
bussiness
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business
 going.
A
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In a
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 small gift
shop
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Linking Words
for
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,for
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 example, the owners can only sell limited items since the capital is small. If shoppers will continue to ignore the local shops, no income will come in and the
shop
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 will be forced to close adding the
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owner
ownner
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more own
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 to the long toll of jobless individuals.
In addition
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, the local shops are usually selling novelty items related to the heritage of the
the
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apply
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community. It is a good way to
preseve
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preserve
 the culture so
younger
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the younger
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 generation can learn old skills.
For instance
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, closure of a store, selling hand-made hats which
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 local materials. The children will not be able to learn how to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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weave to create those hats;
instead
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, they will just buy
Add a hyphen
ready-made
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ready made
Add a hyphen
ready-made
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Correct your spelling
headwear
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head wear
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headwear
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. They will not be aware of what
they
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their
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 place is known for. In conclusion,
although
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 buildings and huge commercial establishments are signs of
improvements
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improvement
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 in a country,
it
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they
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also
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result
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results
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to
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in
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 a loss of livelihood of
a
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apply
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local
shop
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 owners and vanishing old
tradition
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traditions
show examples
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid expansion
  • compete
  • closure
  • death
  • local communities
  • wider range of products
  • convenience
  • unique character
  • personalized customer service
  • unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • traditional skills
  • craftsmanship
  • support
  • local economy
  • decline
  • community spirit
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