In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements that try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Some people claim this is unfair as parents feel under pressure to buy these kinds of things for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s modern era, advertisements
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
snacks and toys have become even more aggressive and annoying. They mainly aim
on
Change the preposition
at
show examples
children
who begin begging their parents to pay for these goods. Some people assume that
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
unjust.
However
, I fully disagree with
this
viewpoint and I would explain my opinion broader in
this
essay.
Firstly
, restricting
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
of snacks and toys would significantly decrease their annual revenue, because people mainly find out about new collections from
marketing
Add an article
the marketing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these goods. It is not fair at all to reduce
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
accounts of companies from these areas because someone does not want to be under pressure. If
advertisement
Add an article
an advertisement
the advertisement
show examples
is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a phenomenon, it becomes clear that any ad creates
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
type of pressure on the listener.
Secondly
, it is only
parents’
Correct article usage
the parents’
show examples
responsibility to look after the
children
, and especially control the content that they receive day to day.
Consequently
, if you are against the ads
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
different toys or snacks, do not let
children
observe them.
Moreover
, it is hard to state where the child has seen that toy or snack. It could possibly be a shop or his friend telling him about them. To conclude, parents need to get used to the fact that
children
and their behaviour are only their
zone
Change the noun form
zones
show examples
of responsibility, so neither the companies nor the government should care about the ads that they see.
Nevertheless
, it would be respectful
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the companies to make their marketing less annoying
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the public.
Submitted by vlad233322 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: