Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #activities #freedom

is consider

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is considered

show examples

by some

Correct your spelling

people

poeple

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people

that

parents

should supervise their

children

activities

closely and

on the other hand

, others believe

children

should have more

freedom

. According to me ,

parents

shouldnt

Correct your spelling

should

shouldn't

supervise their

children

activities

in a detailed way or

children

should have more

freedom

Firstly

, The

children

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children's

show examples

development is seen as the life of themselves by

some

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apply

show examples

many

parents

and

therefore

parents

don'

provide

freedom

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the freedom

show examples

that needs

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

while

Correct word choice

when

show examples

they wanna be

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. Because many

father

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fathers

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and

mother

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mothers

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who didn'

pass life in a nice way wanna the best thing from their

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

and

thus

, many

children

exposure to pressure

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from

show examples

their

parents

and afterwards , a child doesn'

pass time with any

activities

such

as football or

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

a movie when

parents

don'

provide

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apply

show examples

freedom

that needs .

Also

, many

children

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are

show examples

becoming shy or quiet due to

parents

' demand

such

as be more close

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show examples

their

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. Another point to consider is that others believe

children

should have more

freedom

. İn my opinion , each

children

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child

show examples

should have

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apply

show examples

freedom

. These

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

will experience

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apply

show examples

depression if

parents

will supervise for

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

closely

Replace the adverb

show examples

to their

Correct your spelling

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

they wanna do their

activities

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alone way and

thus

, the

confident

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confidant

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of many

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

will develop when

parents

will display

care

Correct pronoun usage

their care

show examples

that needs for their

children

For instance

, many

children

have become shy or quiet and unfortunately , shy person or quiet person will be in their work life if

parents

will continue these their habits like demand be more closely . İn conclusion , many

parents

wanna supervise their

children

activities

closely and

therefore

, their

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

live

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

trouble

such

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

shy or

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

quiet in

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their schools and

also

, depression situations take place in

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

due to the pressure of

parents

. İn my opinion ,

parents

should

Correct your spelling

separate

seperate

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separate

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

that needs

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

for

Correct word choice

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

' don'

live trouble in the future .

Submitted by atescagdas826 on Tue Aug 30 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. 1. In what ways are computers a hindrance? 2. What is your opinion?

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?