Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #activities #freedom

is consider

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is considered

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by some

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people

poeple

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people

that

parents

should supervise their

children

activities

closely and

on the other hand

, others believe

children

should have more

freedom

. According to me ,

parents

shouldnt

Correct your spelling

should

shouldn't

supervise their

children

activities

in a detailed way or

children

should have more

freedom

Firstly

, The

children

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children's

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development is seen as the life of themselves by

some

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apply

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many

parents

and

therefore

parents

don'

provide

freedom

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the freedom

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that needs

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for

show examples

children

while

Correct word choice

when

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they wanna be

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apply

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with

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show examples

their

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children

childrens

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children

show examples

. Because many

father

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fathers

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and

mother

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mothers

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who didn'

pass life in a nice way wanna the best thing from their

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children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

and

thus

, many

children

exposure to pressure

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from

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their

parents

and afterwards , a child doesn'

pass time with any

activities

such

as football or

watch

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watching

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a movie when

parents

don'

provide

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apply

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freedom

that needs .

Also

, many

children

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are

show examples

becoming shy or quiet due to

parents

' demand

such

as be more close

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show examples

their

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

. Another point to consider is that others believe

children

should have more

freedom

. İn my opinion , each

children

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child

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should have

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apply

show examples

freedom

. These

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children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

will experience

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apply

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depression if

parents

will supervise for

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

closely

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show examples

to their

Correct your spelling

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

they wanna do their

activities

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apply

show examples

alone way and

thus

, the

confident

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confidant

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of many

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children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

will develop when

parents

will display

care

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their care

show examples

that needs for their

children

For instance

, many

children

have become shy or quiet and unfortunately , shy person or quiet person will be in their work life if

parents

will continue these their habits like demand be more closely . İn conclusion , many

parents

wanna supervise their

children

activities

closely and

therefore

, their

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

live

many

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much

show examples

trouble

such

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being

show examples

shy or

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being

show examples

quiet in

the

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apply

show examples

their schools and

also

, depression situations take place in

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

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children

show examples

due to the pressure of

parents

. İn my opinion ,

parents

should

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separate

seperate

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separate

time

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the time

show examples

that needs

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct your spelling

children

childrens

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children

show examples

for

Correct word choice

show examples

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

' don'

live trouble in the future .

Submitted by atescagdas826 on Tue Aug 30 2022

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Your opinion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
54Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

Nowadays, more and more people to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one's experience, it also presents the danger of negative influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In some countries criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch. Do the advantages of allowing this overweigh the disadvantages?