For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do diﬀerent activities in their free time?

#people #favourite #time #activity #diﬀerent #activities

As societies continue to approach

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apply

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the

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apply

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excessive consumerism more and more,

younger

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the younger

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generation

are

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choosing activities like shopping as a

passtime

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pastime

pass time

and leisure in their free time.

This

growing trend I believe is due to promoting bad consumption patterns

that

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are

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frequently preached to the population around the world, through social media, movies, celebrities etc. which would bear more benefit to the business owners of huge international companies. Human

being

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beings

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has always acted according to the place and atmosphere their

souranded

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sounded

by. As it is said, we will become whatever or

whoever

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whomever

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we are in contact with,

that is

the reason why we should choose our

neighborhood

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neighbourhood

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, workplace, friends and

coleagues

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colleagues

carefully. Research shows that frequently shown advertisements about products and services in social media, TV etc. are approximately as influential as a seller, speaking to a

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customer

show examples

costumer

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customer

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trying to convince them to buy a

comodity

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commodity

;

This

probably indicates how important commonly shown advertisements can be, no matter how short (or in some cases meaningless) they are.

This

might be the main reason for

younger

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the younger

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population's incentive for intensive shopping as

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apply

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entertainment.

However

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,However

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in my

view

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,view

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these people are better precisely focus on what

truelly

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truly

is regarded as a priority while choosing their leisure

persuit

Correct your spelling

pursuit

and hobby.

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For

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apply

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instance ones who are looking for a

long term

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long-term

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and

anf

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and

authentic romantic relationship which leads to marriage,

they

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apply

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probably should spend a great deal of time studying and

practicing

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practising

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communicational

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communication

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skills and

generally

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general

show examples

Add an article

a self

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self improvement

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self-improvement

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This

approach not only can help younger individuals optimize their limited time, but

also

will contribute to implementing

self improvement

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self-improvement

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and personal

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development

developement

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development

which might be of use in the future and for

the

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apply

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humanity. To sum up, an undesirable pattern of

consuming

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consumption

show examples

will be held responsible for a growing trend of shopping as a hobby among young adults, which could be possibly switched and modified by alternative self-promoting habits like reading and socializing.

Submitted by negarhosseini75 on Tue Aug 30 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do diﬀerent activities in their free time?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is yhis? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

: As children become adults, their social behavior changes in some ways. What are the main difference between young children's social behavior and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?