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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

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Introduction
It is believed that many people are giving their work precedence over their personal life, they are putting more hours
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their job.
This
Linking Words
 essay will clarify the reasons.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are two reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
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, most employees have to work overtime to work for
managers
Change noun form
managers'
manager's
show examples
 requirements or slow a high level of enthusiasm towards their job to improve their
possitions
Correct your spelling
positions
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my mother company, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
significant
Change the article
a significant
the significant
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 number of office workers working in order to keep their jobs, they have to stay back to continue doing extra tasks after regular working
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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. It can be seen that they are living in
overly
Correct article usage
an overly
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 competitive
asmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working perhaps make employees take some adverse effect. They are able to keep their jobs to pay their rent and afford their livelihoods.
For instance
Linking Words
, people are becoming a part of the race to earn money and buy their desired materials
such
Linking Words
 as
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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. It can be seen that they end up working extra hours to earn compensation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, people
is
Change the verb form
are
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 spending more time at the workplace in order to afford their
livehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
 by earning money for extra time.
beside
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besides
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,
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
 working atmosphere
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 the
psycholog
Correct your spelling
psychology
 of employees.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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