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Band 5

International tourism is now more common than even before (except in the times of lock-down during covid 19). Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions on this?

#tourism #times #lock-down #covid #feel #trend
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In recent years, the global
travel
 industry is becoming extremely popular with the assistance of social media. Whether
travel
 influencers have started a
travel
 revolution is becoming a widely debated topic. Despite the fact that some believe these
travel
 videos are significantly related to the rise of international
travel
, the majority,
however
, remain
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
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. In my opinion, the advantages of the
travel
 industry
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have
Add the particle
tohave
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outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighed
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 the disadvantages by far.
First
 and foremost,
tourism
 is an essential factor to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local employment and generate a sustainable income for many local families. Businesses in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist destinations need plenty of human resources to maintain excellent services for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors. According to the research conducted by Time magazine, international
tourism
 has created millions of job positions, like
hotels’
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hotels
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 staff and other related occupations in Hong Kong. It is believed
40
Correct word choice
that 40
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% of the gross domestic product of Hong Kong is generated by the revenue
of
Change preposition
from
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tourism
.
Furthermore
, trading businesses are deeply benefited by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international flights, which have greatly increased the number of cargoes being transported from one place to another.
This
 has encouraged the connection of goods exchange, like fruits and other exotic products. In sum, International
travelers
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travellers
show examples
 not only provide a great opportunity for local economic growth
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it
also
 establishes a great trading network
Correct your spelling
among countries
amongcountries
Correct your spelling
among countries
. A
further
 point is that education is another significant advantage
which
Correct word choice
that
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tourism
 brings.
Traveling
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Travelling
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 is a great method to gain
first hand
Add a hyphen
first-hand
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 knowledge of
cultures
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the cultures
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 and histories
from
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of
show examples
 other countries. Another striking illustration is that recent studies have shown students who had been on a foreign exchange programme are more likely to have a successful career.
As a result
,
travel
Add an article
the travel
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 experience can
simulate
Correct your spelling
stimulate
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 the minds of the young generations and broaden their horizons to a brighter future. In short, having discussed the positive aspects of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 abroad, I contend that the benefits of
tourism
 will not only bring
a
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apply
show examples
strong economic growth to society, it will
also
 stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young minds to be creative and enrich their experience in life.
Submitted by wilson.auyeung.hc on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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