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Band 6

Large companies should pay CEOs and executives higher salaries than other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Keywords: salary; company Type: Agree & Disagree

#companies #ceos #executives #salaries #workers #keywords #salary #company #type
Nowadays, large companies pay
CEOs
 and executives higher salaries than other workers. In my opinion, people in higher positions can make or break the
company
 no matter how much they are paid. But in the market the higher the risk, the higher pay demanded.
Therefore
 it is very important that
CEOs
 and executives are paid
according to
 their responsibility and
company
 size. As a
company
, in
this
 competitive time attracting the right talent at a higher
position
 has become the need of an hour. It's crucial to hire the correct person who can get the job done and compensations are usually deserved for their contribution.
However
, to find and get them on board requires a
salary
 par from the current market. People in
these
Change the determiner
this position
these positions
show examples
position
 make critical decisions and their role determines the profits.
Hence
 I believe that the
salary
 drawn by
CEOs
 needs to be higher than the worker workers in the
company
.
In addition
, I
also
 believe that a fair employee
salary
 system for all people is critical to the
company
's success.
Therefore
 high compensations should be linked to the contributions and performance, not simply to
position
.
This
 will encourage everyone irrespective of their
position
 to push harder and achieve
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the common goal
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
company
 success. To illustrate
further
, Apple
company
 CEO Tom Hook is paid 75,000 in shares and 1,00,000 dollars as
salary
 for 2024.
This
 decision was taken to draw less
salary
 and be paid in shares has motivated other workers in the
company
. In conclusion, I would like to say that
CEOs
 and executives should be paid higher salaries.
This
position
 holds a great amount of responsibility and to attract the right person in that
position
 hike needs to be a bit higher. But at the same time, compensations shall be directly proportionate to their contribution.
Submitted by mayuri_3006 on

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clarity
The clarity in presenting ideas is important. Try to structure the sentences in a more straightforward manner. For example, 'People in higher positions have the ability to make or break a company' instead of 'people in higher positions can make or break the company no matter how much they are paid'.
detail
Try to expand more on the provided examples, such as the case of Apple and its CEO's salary structure. Provide more background and explain how these strategies have resulted in better performance for the company.
transition
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. You can use linking words or phrases to improve the flow of the essay. For instance, adding 'Moreover' or 'Additionally' at the beginning of the second body paragraph would have made the transition smoother.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the stage for the essay effectively.
balance
You presented a balanced view by discussing both the importance of higher salaries for executives and the need for a fair employee salary system.
conclusion
The conclusion aptly summarizes your points and reiterates your stance on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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